Tonight I get to do something that I have wanted to do for the last 14 years.
My mom's side of the family always does Thanksgiving dinner at grandma's house on Wednesday night before turkey day. When I was 12 years old my oldest cousin brought her boyfriend to Thanksgiving. This is the first time I remember having some sort of understanding that relationships are a blending of two families as well as the creation of a new one. I thought it was the coolest thing and decided that I could not wait to have someone to share my family traditions with.
But I was 12. I had time right? I mean, I doubted that any middle school relationship I might dream of would be serious enough for a Thanksgiving introduction, but surely in high school that would happen.
High school came and although I had plenty of interest in boys, not many seemed to return my affections. Thanksgivings came and went. There was always the good-natured teasing from my family, "Karen, when are you bringing a boy up here?" But 10th, 11th and 12th grade passed with no one joining us.
College. No doubt, in college I would finally get to show-off some amazing guy who was crazy enough to follow me to grandma's? That's gotta be it! I just hadn't met him yet and I'd have a relationship over the holidays for sure in the next 4 years.
The good natured teasing about a boy became hurtful. This was not at all intentional on the part of my family, but because I had hoped for this for so long. I almost dreaded those few moments when I'd have to say, "No, I haven't found him yet."
Eventually that question stopped being posed altogether. At first I was relieved to not have to answer it, but then I started wondering, "Have they given up on anyone wanting me?" That, of course, was not the case, but as much as I love the holidays my singleness began to be a small spot of holiday depression. I tried to keep my hope in Christ and remind myself that He would bring me a relationship when the time was right. But it was difficult to keep reminding myself of that.
College was over. My Disney internship produced a very sweet, but very short relationship. Internet dating was actually kinda fun, but most guys I met only lasted for 1 or 2 dates. (A friend once told me I was pretty picky for a desperate girl.) The one relationship that had potential to be a "bring him to grandma's" dissolved about a week before Thanksgiving. God was angry at me. I was sure of it.
Depressing huh? Yeah, sorry about that, but I only say all that to highlight how freaking excited I am to be tacking Zac to my grandparent's tonight for Thanksgiving dinner!!! :-)
For a long time I felt like God was mad me. I had done something to make Him angry and as punishment for my sin He was keeping me from experiencing this thing (a relationship during the holidays) that I had hoped for since I was 12. I had some things to learn. Over the past 3 years I have come to have a much different (read: better) understanding of the Gospel and how God's plan works.
For starters I had to learn that God was not angry at me. This was a very difficult lesson for me to accept, but I have come to rest (sometimes more peacefully than other times) in the fact that He has paid for my sin. Paid for it. Done. Over. Finished. He is good and does not hold things over our heads when we repent and believe that He has paid for it.
And second (something that I am more thankful for today than I ever thought I could be) is that He causes all things to work together for the good of those who love and serve Him. I would have loved to take any number of my crushes to Grandma's over the last 14 years. But God has helped me (while I was mostly kicking, screaming and crying) save that for Zac.
Zac is not "another guy" Karen has brought to Thanksgiving. He is THE GUY Karen has brought to Thanksgiving. I can't describe how excited and happy I am to get to finally realize this thing I have hoped for, for so many years!
Thank you Jesus for having a plan and being good and kind and loving towards me even when I am "sure" that you must hate me. You have blessed me beyond my dreams!
Thank you Zac for being the guy that is crazy enough to follow me to Thanksgiving dinner. I love you and am so excited to share this season with you. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I never would have dreamed that I would have a guy of your caliber (intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, hard-working, romantic, disciplined, respectful, and warm-hearted for starters) by my side at grandma's Thanksgiving. I love you!
My mom's side of the family always does Thanksgiving dinner at grandma's house on Wednesday night before turkey day. When I was 12 years old my oldest cousin brought her boyfriend to Thanksgiving. This is the first time I remember having some sort of understanding that relationships are a blending of two families as well as the creation of a new one. I thought it was the coolest thing and decided that I could not wait to have someone to share my family traditions with.
But I was 12. I had time right? I mean, I doubted that any middle school relationship I might dream of would be serious enough for a Thanksgiving introduction, but surely in high school that would happen.
High school came and although I had plenty of interest in boys, not many seemed to return my affections. Thanksgivings came and went. There was always the good-natured teasing from my family, "Karen, when are you bringing a boy up here?" But 10th, 11th and 12th grade passed with no one joining us.
College. No doubt, in college I would finally get to show-off some amazing guy who was crazy enough to follow me to grandma's? That's gotta be it! I just hadn't met him yet and I'd have a relationship over the holidays for sure in the next 4 years.
The good natured teasing about a boy became hurtful. This was not at all intentional on the part of my family, but because I had hoped for this for so long. I almost dreaded those few moments when I'd have to say, "No, I haven't found him yet."
Eventually that question stopped being posed altogether. At first I was relieved to not have to answer it, but then I started wondering, "Have they given up on anyone wanting me?" That, of course, was not the case, but as much as I love the holidays my singleness began to be a small spot of holiday depression. I tried to keep my hope in Christ and remind myself that He would bring me a relationship when the time was right. But it was difficult to keep reminding myself of that.
College was over. My Disney internship produced a very sweet, but very short relationship. Internet dating was actually kinda fun, but most guys I met only lasted for 1 or 2 dates. (A friend once told me I was pretty picky for a desperate girl.) The one relationship that had potential to be a "bring him to grandma's" dissolved about a week before Thanksgiving. God was angry at me. I was sure of it.
Depressing huh? Yeah, sorry about that, but I only say all that to highlight how freaking excited I am to be tacking Zac to my grandparent's tonight for Thanksgiving dinner!!! :-)
For a long time I felt like God was mad me. I had done something to make Him angry and as punishment for my sin He was keeping me from experiencing this thing (a relationship during the holidays) that I had hoped for since I was 12. I had some things to learn. Over the past 3 years I have come to have a much different (read: better) understanding of the Gospel and how God's plan works.
For starters I had to learn that God was not angry at me. This was a very difficult lesson for me to accept, but I have come to rest (sometimes more peacefully than other times) in the fact that He has paid for my sin. Paid for it. Done. Over. Finished. He is good and does not hold things over our heads when we repent and believe that He has paid for it.
And second (something that I am more thankful for today than I ever thought I could be) is that He causes all things to work together for the good of those who love and serve Him. I would have loved to take any number of my crushes to Grandma's over the last 14 years. But God has helped me (while I was mostly kicking, screaming and crying) save that for Zac.
Zac is not "another guy" Karen has brought to Thanksgiving. He is THE GUY Karen has brought to Thanksgiving. I can't describe how excited and happy I am to get to finally realize this thing I have hoped for, for so many years!
Thank you Jesus for having a plan and being good and kind and loving towards me even when I am "sure" that you must hate me. You have blessed me beyond my dreams!
Thank you Zac for being the guy that is crazy enough to follow me to Thanksgiving dinner. I love you and am so excited to share this season with you. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I never would have dreamed that I would have a guy of your caliber (intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, hard-working, romantic, disciplined, respectful, and warm-hearted for starters) by my side at grandma's Thanksgiving. I love you!
